Why I’m done with healthcare This hasn’t been easy to write, as I’m sure it might feel uncomfortable to read for many. I understand this and please know this is my own personal decision, and I would never want to discourage anyone else from seeking support or medical care. Your life and care should be totally up to you to decide, and you 100% deserve support if you want it. After spending over half my life trying, my parents going through hell, and being let down time after time, I’ve made the decision to write an Advanced Decision, essentially refusing most life-sustaining care should my body start to give up. To understand where I am at today, you’ve first got to go back to when I was 11 years old, over 15 years ago… Moving to Secondary School and having some severe bowel issues compounded to trigger a pretty severe eating disorder, and even more severe (undiagnosed Autistic) meltdown & overwhelm. Since that day, I and my family have fought, fought some more, and ev
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Mental Health Awareness Week
Living with a mental illness isn't a choice, it's a daily grind, A constant battle with your own mind. Putting on a smile, the perfect mask, Whilst inside you're sinking fast. Facing trauma, fear, swimming against the tide Whilst you're smiling, joking and "functioning" on the outside. Getting told to "reach out" over and over, But being let down at every corner, It's wanting to recover, wanting to thrive, But also wondering if you can cope with being alive. It's going from nothing to "fight or flight", Whilst trying to internalise your plight. But recovery is possible, there is hope out there, We need to make people feel safe to share. Safe to share their emotions, their feelings, their true self, Whilst we validate, support, listen and don't ever judge. We need to support them on their journey, without condition, Because inside they are on a huge mission... A mission to find their quality of life, One that is unique to them,
More Than Just Physical
Most of the articles and awareness you see about eating disorder has quite a high focus on the physical effects of the illness. But eating disorders are so much more than that. This is just my personal experience, but here are some of the effects I have had that aren't "just" physical. Social Life Prior to my eating disorder, though I don't particularly enjoy social situations, I had a group of really close friends who made me feel comfortable enough to be social with. My eating disorder changed all that. I found that especially being a teenager that people distanced themselves, they couldn't understand why I was saying no to things... I was alienated. Then add to that the fear of events surrounding food or being out of routine, and socialising became pretty much impossible. Even that which was possible became a huge event, needing days (or weeks) of planning beforehand. It is really quite isolating having an eating disorder. Finances This is a big one we need to
We Are Tired
Dear World, We are tired of living in a world obsessed with dieting, We are tired of living in a world obsessed with body image, We are tired of services not being funded properly, We are tired of being a second thought for "ob*sity policies", We are tired of being seen as "acceptable collateral", We are tired of being faced with our triggers every day by a society that doesn't care, We are tired of people seeing "eating disorders" as only Anorexia and only someone who is underweight, We are tired of being told it is our responsibility to not be triggered when we are sick, We are tired of the Government doing everything it can to harm us, and nothing at all to help, We are tired of losing our friends, our peers and amazing lives unnecessarily and too young, We are tired of weight stigma being entrenched in healthcare and even eating disorders care, We are tired of being seen as a BMI rather than a person with unique needs, We are tired of being told &q
Loved Ones Suffer Too
When we talk about eating disorders, most of the time the attention is solely focused on the sufferer, the one with the eating disorder, the debilitating symptoms, the physical, emotional, social and financial damage that it can cause the individual who is struggling. As a sufferer myself, I have seen this first hand, and it's always made me feel a bit uneasy, because I see this as only half of the true story. The other half is my family. I have seen 14 years of my parents, my brother, everyone I love and who loves me, suffering too - but barely getting a mention other than to look for a "cause" to my eating disorder. My parents have had to face guilt and feeling like they could have done something differently to prevent my suffering, they've had to face stigma from other parents, from wider society, and even from eating disorders services. They have had to face 14 years of seeing their son struggling... I cannot imagine how hard that must be. My brother has suffered
Eating Disorders Awareness - Part 2: How to do it better
In Part 1 , I included a few ways that some of the current "awareness" might be doing more harm than good, both to sufferers of eating disorders and to the stigma that exists within wider society. So now I want to put together a list of things that can be included in articles, awareness campaigns and the media, so we can raise awareness without creating harm, triggering sufferers or adding another level of stigma. Please also ensure that BEAT Guidelines are followed as these are always a great guide. Eating Disorder Media Guidelines - Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk) 1. Diversity, Diversity, Diversity! This is probably the single most important thing, but the one that is far too often missed. Eating disorders can affect anyone, of any age, gender, body size, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, class, or any other demographic. However how often do we only see one type of eating disorder (usually Anorexia) portrayed in one way (usually a white, cisgender, middle class girl/teena
Eating Disorders Awareness - Part 1: How not to do it
Now Eating Disorders Awareness Week has passed, it is no less important that we keep banging the drum of awareness. Eating Disorders don't only affect the sufferer (and their support network) for one week of the year, and awareness needs to be for every day too. But for all the amazing awareness campaigners, advocates and organisations doing brilliant things, there is a fair share of "Awareness" that risks doing more harm than good. I'll try to put a selection on thig blog, it's not an exhaustive list though, and if in doubt, please check out the BEAT Guidelines ( Eating Disorder Media Guidelines - Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk) 1. "Before" or "Sick" Photos A common one from a lot of the media, but sadly a growing number of advocates, especially on Instagram. This involves showing a "before" picture, usually of someone severely underweight, followed by an "after" photo, often of them in fitness gear. The media also uses