More Than Just Physical

Most of the articles and awareness you see about eating disorder has quite a high focus on the physical effects of the illness. 

But eating disorders are so much more than that.

This is just my personal experience, but here are some of the effects I have had that aren't "just" physical.

Social Life

Prior to my eating disorder, though I don't particularly enjoy social situations, I had a group of really close friends who made me feel comfortable enough to be social with. My eating disorder changed all that.

I found that especially being a teenager that people distanced themselves, they couldn't understand why I was saying no to things... I was alienated.

Then add to that the fear of events surrounding food or being out of routine, and socialising became pretty much impossible. Even that which was possible became a huge event, needing days (or weeks) of planning beforehand.

It is really quite isolating having an eating disorder.

Finances

This is a big one we need to talk more about. For me, my finances have been affected, but also those of my loved ones.

Between the ages of 18 and 21, I couldn't work. I had to rely on my parents for everything, and I'm incredibly lucky they were in a position they could support me. This included food, travel, shelter, and trying to keep me on the right path at the same time. It was a huge burden on them.

As well as that, recovery itself is EXPENSIVE. The amount of food I needed (and still need) means I cannot simply get a £30 shop each week. Also many of my "safe" foods aren't very cheap, not to mention the fact that part of recovery is to try to diversify my diet again, which can involve eating out, takeaways and buying different foods.

And then we get to therapy. Due to the systemic issues with NHS services, I have had to pay for dietetic support, which is a huge financial burden. I simply couldn't afford any more intensive therapy, and it took me 3 years to be able to get PIP to even help with that a little bit.

The final financial impact is that - even though I am in an okay place right now - you never know how your body or mind will react over time. It is a constant worry of being unable to work again, and something I almost have to expect and plan for.

Emotions

This is probably the biggest thing for me at least. Quality of life is so important, and part of that is feeling safe, secure and well... even if my body isn't always doing brilliantly.

Trying to recover in the world as it currently is, feels impossible at times. Imagine trying to recover from Alcoholism but everywhere you go you're surrounded by alcohol and people actively encouraging you to drink. 

We are trying to recover from an eating disorder in a world where disordered eating is normalised.

When we talk about our struggles, often we are seen as the odd ones out by trying to "recover" from what society sees as normal. Swimming against an ever-strengthening tide of diet culture, weight stigma and disordered behaviours.

We are mocked, and even laughed at by society. We are belittled and seen as "collateral" damage for awful so-called 'health' policies. We are faced with our fears multiple times per day, every day, and there is no way of getting out of it - there is no respite.

And, I'll be honest, it is exhausting.

So... having an eating disorder is about so much more than the physical side. And this is before we even get to how it affects our loved ones too.

Right now, we need allies more than ever.